Where does our sense of self come from? Is it from the clothes we wear? The music we like? The things we hate? Or how many likes we get on Facebook?
Relating to outside world is one way to build a sense of self. These ready made identities for us to fill, parts in scripts ready for us to play. But, who are we when not observed – not relating. A self waiting for a role to fill. Does a self built on it’s relation to the external have any worth when separated from observers to give it a value? Yes, but does that self realise this?
This is one way of finding self and self-worth. A short cut, a flawed solution perhaps. There is another way though, one which takes longer to grow, and reeks of authenticity in a the scripted world of roles and types. A sense of self and self-love based from within the self, a light house the external crashes onto. Like the light house the test of such a self comes in it’s ability to stand true against the waves of external convention.
The internal found sense of self though has one incredible strength to weather these storms though. Self-love. A love of self and acceptance of self allows for enjoyment in being your authentic congruent self. You regardless of other things. Self-love takes practice though and active maintenance. The harder, longer way round to self-worth – when this gift is nurtured it brings other fruits.
Self-confidence, trust, peace of mind. Watering the seed and nurturing the love is the greatest thing we can do for ourselves. Moreover we owe it to ourselves. And it shows, you’ve seen those eyes – the ones truly alive. Away from the turbulent and unstable waves of others, self-worth from within is the solid platform from which we can make our dreams.
Hard earned and strongly built, genuine and organic. To love yourself for who you are is such gift. A gift to yourself and then later a gift shared with others.
David James Horn ©